The Rules

One of my great joys in life is introducing people to new and delicious things to drink. As wine director of a restaurant in Manhattan, it's also my job. That being said, I've formulated two main rules of drinking that I always keep in mind when making recommendations.

Rule #1: With the options available to today's drinker, no one should be made to drink anything that they don't enjoy.

Rule #2: While there are ideal food and beverage pairings, if you pair food you like to eat with something that you like to drink, you'll never be disappointed.

I swear by both these rules and taken together they can help you be a better host, whether in a restaurant setting or at your own home. Let's consider them in further detail.

At their heart, both of these rules are about hospitality. I'm in the restaurant business because it gives me  a chance to make people happy. It's about someone coming into your restaurant, and then you understanding what they're looking for. Are they celebrating something special? Is it a first date? A business dinner? Whatever the case, you have to listen intently to what people say. If you can deliver what they're looking for you've made them happy--and I love making people happy. It's why I do what I do.

I also get excited about the opportunity to turn people on to new things. Serving someone a new wine from a producer or region that they've never had before and seeing the surprise and joy register on their face as they discover something wonderful is the moment I live for. And it's the moment that I always hope and strive for. Being a good host, however, means accepting that not everyone is looking for something new or something challenging. That's what rule number one is all about. I always respect and appreciate when someone tells me to pick a wine for them without any restrictions. But I also respect the guy who's been drinking Dewar's on the rocks for forty years and who will be damned if he's going to try anything else. Ideally, everyone everywhere is trying new things constantly. From microbrews to microdistilleries, new beverages come on the market every day. This is about enjoyment. It's about pleasure. If you try it once and you hate it, I won't ask you to try it again.

Let's keep talking about Mr. Dewar's Rocks for a moment. He's likely drinking that all the way through his meal. From a philosophical standpoint would I rather see him drink wine with his meal when he's at my restaurant? Absolutely. I believe that the best food and drink experiences happen when you are open to what a particular restaurant or region does well or is most proud of. If I sit down at a bar and the bartender offers to make me his signature cocktail, I'll likely take him up on it and be pleased with the result. If I visit Piemonte in northern Italy and eat the local cuisine I'll drink the local wine as well. If it's the middle of summer I'm more apt to have a gin and tonic and if it's the dead of winter, I'll have a Sazerac please. Great things happen when you open yourself to the drinking rhythms of time and place and season. But...

Rule number two is about not being slavish to those ideals. At the end of the day, this is food and drink we are talking about. Both are of vital importance to our existence but they should also be one of our greatest sources of pleasure. Rule number two is at its heart about remembering that this is all supposed to be fun. Forcing someone to drink a Negroni when all they want is a Vodka Tonic is a good way to make enemies. The stress of trying to pick the perfect wine for each course can ruin what would have otherwise been a lovely evening. (When in doubt, Rosé Champagne pairs with EVERYTHING.) The solution is easy. You love salmon and you love to drink Cabernet?  Odds are, having those two things together would make you happy, whatever the wine experts say.

We're talking about food and drink. It's not about perfect pairings or showing off knowledge or being right or wrong. It's about the joy of sitting down to a meal and everyone feeling welcome at that table, whatever their drink.

Those are my rules. I'd love to hear yours.